What's That Smell?

currere-pro-vita-tua:

You’re going to do 220 crunches, not counting the miners, in just the dying category. Get ready to exercise while watching The Hunger Games.

Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

Te-hee-hee

I always knew something was wrong with him.

• Her: When's that baby coming?
• Me: Excuse me?
• Her: When are you due?
• Me: *sigh* July 7th.
• Her: Wow! That's coming up super soon!
• Me: Yuuuup.
• *I then proceed to walk into a different aisle, only to have her follow me*
• Her: You look like you're about to pop any second!
• Me: Thanks, you too.
• Her: Do you know what you're having?
• Me: Yep.
• Her: What are you having?
• Me: A baby.
• Her: Do you have a birth plan?
• Me: Look, lady. I don't want to be rude, but I don't know you. I don't even want to talk about this with my friends, much less you. I'm not going to ask you how many bones you've broken or how many cigarettes you've obviously smoked this morning. Just because I'm clearly pregnant doesn't mean that's an open invitation to ask me about it.
• *I walk away*
• *She stands there in silence for a second, then follows me again*
• Her: So, have you lost your mucous plug yet?
• I then proceed to kill her.

I don’t understand either, Zooey.

(via howimetchandler)

sofapizza:

(“My mom asked me for a “formal picture” of my one month old baby, I sent her this”)

(via fyeahmovieclub)

bahboh:

Nicolas Ca(t)ge

I’m really not sure why this is so hilarious to me. But I ROFL’d.

(via bepeu)